Today I am going to share with you the journey of Potty training my youngest son, Aiden. Let me start by saying my son Aiden is stubborn, hard-headed, energetic, and one of the sweetest little boys I could have been blessed with. But potty training him has been a struggle for us, I say “us” because it has been a team effort.
I wanted to let you know that these are tips I wish I had known, and not all of them may be what you need to hear.
I feel like I need to tell our story, as it is far from picture-perfect and was a lot of trial and error. It had mostly tears from me, feelings of failure, and worries about my son having a learning disability. At the end of the day, we made it through, we survived. So please read this if you are either thinking about Potty training, going through the Potty training process, or struggling your way through it like me, know you are not the only one.
I have been in the trenches for 3+ months and we are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, we are still not perfectly accident-free but we are over the major hump of the process. I appreciate you taking the time to read this and I hope this helps you get the support and some affirmations that you are going to make it through.
10 Tips:
- IT’S NOT GOING TO TAKE 3 DAYS! Get it through your head that this process is going to take longer than three days. Especially if you are dealing with a stubborn little boy like mine, This is a big process for your little ones, and it takes a lot of brain power involving their body that they are not used to controlling. You are asking them to manage something they have never had to think about since birth!
- Do your research. Don’t just jump in with both feet without doing a little reading, even if this is not your first time. There are very many different theories about what to do and not to do. You know your child the best and only you will figure out what will work and not. It’s best to be prepared for what is coming, both physically and mentally.
- Make a plan A, B and C. Let’s be honest, how often do you make a plan and they all get blown up because your child is just that, a child, and sometimes they make the rules. If you can find something that will help motivate your child before you start that will be huge. This can be physical rewards or just verbal praise, but beware this does not work for all kids (like mine).
- Don’t wait too long, but also don’t rush them. I had to do 3 rounds before we finally had “success”. I felt like he showed the signs early but I was unable to take a consecutive 3+ days off work to meet his needs. Due to this, I feel like I missed an earlier window, and then he decided he did not want to learn it, stubborn. Some suggest waiting until 3 when they are more ready, I was not willing to wait that long and may have pushed a little sooner than most. It was not because of my wants though, it was because I knew he was capable and had plenty of I’m ready signs before this.
- Buy plenty of supplies. Make sure you have plenty of baby wipes, Clorox wipes, LOTS of underwear, a full container of laundry detergent, and a couple of bottles of wine, vodka, or whatever drink/vice of your choice. Trust me, these days will be long, they will be exhausting, the best thing you can do for yourself as a parent is to give yourself some wind-down time after they go to bed. Do some breathe work, whatever you need to help calm your nerves and get yourself mentally prepared for tomorrow.
- Don’t lose your S#!%. As frustrating as this whole process is, and trust me it is, you cannot let your little one see you lose it. Please take my personal experience to heart on this one. Nothing will make you and your little one feel worse than losing your grip on the situation. All this will do is take them 5 steps backward on any progress you have made to that point. After a couple of moments of losing my grip, I spent plenty of tears feeling terrible about myself, I figured out I had to get myself in control. I could not overreact to any part of the process, as much as I wanted to scream and yell in frustration, I had to keep it together in front of him. I consider myself a little hot-tempered especially when it comes to my kids, so I had to take all my energy into not losing it, to make progress.
- Trust the process. After being several weeks into the potty training process I finally broke down and purchased a training guide from a potty training consultant, I needed any help I could get as I was getting fed up. Although I thought some of her teachings seemed irrelevant to me and it was not 100% successful, when I followed them they helped and got us through nighttime and nap training. In retrospect I may have been more successful had I started with her training process from the get-go.
- Potty Training Consultant – Not an affiliate Link.
- Prepare your childcare, and understand their policies. Nothing can be more detrimental to the potty training process than an un-supportive daycare. Fortunately for me and Aiden, mine was overly patient, I’m honestly surprised they did not put him in pull-ups more often than they did. Some daycares have an accident limit, or may even require your child to be in a pullup over their underwear. I have heard of some interesting policies, but unfortunately, you are at the mercy of their rules. Due to these rules, you should plan accordingly, take some extra days off work, and bring some pull-ups for his tough days. For more info please see my 10 daycare policies on potty training.
- Don’t be scared of pull-ups. Although almost everything you read about potty training says not to use them. Sometimes they are needed based on where your child at in the training and life around you. Because let’s be honest, you can stay home and keep him in a controlled environment for so long before you have to venture out and continue to live your lives. We had a day or two when he had a slight case of diarrhea, and put him in pull-ups for those couple of days (after a few weeks of progress), and it did not seem to have any real lasting effect. If you have to take a long road trip somewhere, they may not tell you they had an accident, and the last thing you want is them getting comfortable sitting in the mess in regular underwear. So sometimes you have to do what you have to do, but don’t beat yourself up if you have to do something like this.
- DON’T GIVE UP! You can do it, you and your child got this! It may take three days, it may take three months, but trust me you will get through this! You will have plenty of days you want to give up and throw in the towel, but trust me don’t! Every day you work with them, you are making progress, even if it’s talking them through a mess cleanup, they are picking up on what is going on and you will get there, both of you.
Have some faith, and trust your intuition. Your children are more comfortable with you than anyone else, so they may be more susceptible to having accidents with you rather than daycare or babysitter, and that is okay. Being there for your kids is all they need at the end of the day. Trust me, you will get there!
You got this!
Links:
Again if you want the link to the potty training consultant’s website
She is on Instagram and shares lots of helpful information. @pottytrainingconsultant
Affiliated posts:
For my more 7 mistakes and wins while potty training.
For my 10 common daycare practices on Potty training.